On a good track

It has been 3 days now and so far so good :)   I have not been limiting the amount I eat, but being very careful of WHAT I eat.  I have been eating lots of fruits and veggies, Veggie subway sandwhiches, drinking lots of water.  I have been stearing clear of candy and cakey carbs...my true loves! 
Sunday night I was laying in bed and having a hard time breathing.  Have I just gotten so fat that I am out of breath laying in bed!?  I dont want to feel like that again.  That was after my "last day of eating EVER".  Everytime I start a diet I have a last day...to eat and binge on whatever I want.  Problem is that I start so many diets that I have "last days" a couple times a month!  After that Sunday of binging I felt physically sick!  I could picture the lard around my heart as it is trying to beat.  No more LAST DAYS!

The pictures that got this fat girl rolling

I had a friend take these pictures of me.  I have gained so much weight, but with my clothes mostly growing with me...it was hard to see.  These pics say it all!  Nothing to hide!  These were taken 11/4/12. 

I start TODAY!

As of this date, I have only given this account to a few friends. If anyone was actually following it, they would think I am nuts! Every day I "start over" and "this is day ONE!...for real!". But REALLY this time, today starts the beggining of a healthier me! It has gotten ridiculous! Last summer (2011) I got down to 198. That was my lowest weight in a LONG time. As of the scale at the gym today...I am a freaking humongo mass of 251 pounds! WHAT?!? I keep starting diets, only to fail. I dont have any clothes that fit. I have out fatted my fat clothes! And I refuse to buy more fatter clothes. It just needs to stop!

With this blog, I am hoping to keep a track of my goals. Not entirely sure of what I will be doing. I will probally do a little of everything. As long as I am not eating like I did today, I should be good :)

Why Bursting Button?

This page was started to track my journey hopefully for the last time in losing weight. I have lost many many times, but have not been able to keep it off. I am currenlty at my highest weight I have ever been.
What is "Bursting Button"? I took my son to a birthday party at Chuck. E. Cheese. In a sea of Orange County hot moms, I felt the need to buy a new pair of jeans for the occasion. The dressi...ng room was a traumatic experience! Not only did I need to look at my cellulite dimpled body (I SWEAR I even saw some on my calves in the bright lighting), but I had to buy the biggest size I have had to buy in a LONG time. 20! Yes, 2-0! I didnt have that big of an issue buying 18s a couple weeks prior. They still had a 1 in the front. But a 2!!?? Thats a whole new level of fat!
So, day of party...I think I am looking all cute in my size 02, okay 20(!!!) jeans...unitl I catch my reflection in the windows. Who the F is that fat girl! Cant be me. Uh...yeah, its me. Muffin top and all! Not that THAT wasnt bad enough. After eating a few pieces of pizza and licking mine and my sons cake plate clean, I took my son to the bathroom. That is when it happened. My button projectile bursts off my jeans, hit the stall door and dropped to my feet. Panic set in. Did I need 22s? Do they make sizes bigger than 28, because that is where I am headed. How in the world am I going to go back to party without a way to hold up my jeans? How can I get another piece of cake?
Long story short-okay, its already been a long story, I am here and ready to diet, change my eating habits, become a healthier more physical mother to my children, rock a bikini and make the young men drool, wear the cute clothes I have piled in my closet I bought over the years as motivatioanl clothes and wear a bikini...everywhere its appropriate!
Thanks to my bursting button...I feel emotionally damaged enough to take on this. I got this, yo!